Cooking for Picky Eaters
Simple Solutions for Mealtimes, According to Dietitians Who Are Moms, Too
Many of us—even the most adventurous adults—have a food or two we tend to steer clear of. Perhaps it’s raw oysters due to their texture, fresh cilantro if you have the gene that makes the herb taste like soap, or blue cheese because you don’t dig the funk.
But for some humans, especially preschool-aged kids, the “no thanks” food list gets so lengthy that it feels like only a handful of meals and snacks can keep the peace. Recipes for fussy eaters can be few and far between at this stage.
“Picky eating behaviors in kids are very common,” explains Frances Largeman-Roth, RDN, a Dobbs Ferry, New York-based registered dietitian nutritionist and author of Everyday Snack Tray. “There are some studies on picky eaters, but not many. Most babies start off as adventurous eaters; trying and liking many new foods. But once they hit toddlerhood, they often stop eating some foods they previously enjoyed.”
Why? Most often, because the kids want to assert their newfound independence, Largeman-Roth adds. (The parents among us know that “no” becomes a favorite word for many children around this age and in this stage.) There are several other potential triggers for picky eating, according to Laura Ligos, RDN, CSSD, an Albany, New York-based registered dietitian nutritionist, two-time cookbook author, the founder of The Sassy Dietitian and Unconventional Collaborative. These include, but are not limited to:
Lack of exposure to food, texture, or flavors
Neuro-development differences
Disabilities
Medical issues
Poor oral function
Sensory processing issues
Negative mealtime experiences
Controlling or anxious parenting styles, especially around food
“A lot of picky eating likely starts in early childhood and may go away or may become more pronounced throughout life,” Ligos explains. “There is also some research to show that some nutrient deficiencies, like zinc deficiency, may lead to picky eating as well.”
While new research hints to the fact that picky eating can be genetic, “which should help parents feel less guilty if their child exhibits picky eating behaviors,” Largeman-Roth says, these tendencies can be nature, nurture, or a bit of both, the RDs agree.
The Benefits of Expanding a Picky Eater's Palate
It might feel easier to focus on cooking for picky eaters and accommodating their (very limited) “yes” foods list. However, Largeman-Roth and Ligos confirm that it’s worth striving to expand your picky eater’s horizons.
The experts dish about the benefits of a more diverse diet:
It will increase their options socially. Eating is often a very social experience, say, in the school lunchroom, at a restaurant, or at a family holiday gathering. “If we can expand someone's diet, we can also expand what, where, when, and how they eat comfortably. This can help decrease loneliness and stress as well,” Ligos says.
It will provide more balanced nutrition. A more diverse diet almost always results in an increase in vitamin and mineral intake and better our gut health (which supports digestion, nutrient absorption, the immune system and more), Ligos explains. Over time, improved vitamin and mineral status can aid in reducing the risk for anxiety and depression and will likely reduce fatigue and the risk for certain diseases, she adds.
It can inspire them to think with a more open mind. Being open to trying new foods is part of an overall inclusive lifestyle that may result in an individual learning more about other cultures through their cuisine, discovering new ingredient pairings or age-appropriate cooking techniques, and could increase their chances of making new friends who also enjoy those foods.
It will also create a more positive vibe at mealtimes. Rather than fighting over every last ingredient or needing to act like a short-order cook to please each diner, a less-picky eater will be easier to accommodate with family-friendly dinner ideas. As a result, the overall tone at the table will be less tense and more joyful.
8 of the Best Strategies for Dealing with Picky Eaters
Now that you know more about why it’s worth the effort to try to ease picky eaters into enjoying more foods, let’s dive into how to make that happen.
Involve Kids in Meal Planning
As we hinted to above about their generous use of the word “no,” some kids feel like they have very little control over their day. Food is one of the few daily details they can control, Ligos concedes, and parents can use that to their advantage.
Ask your choosy child (or adult, if they are the picky one) to select a meal kit recipe or one of our Assemble and Bake one pan meals. You could also take them to the farmers market and have them pick out one new fruit or vegetable that looks exciting, for example. Or if they’re old enough, tap the picky eater to help with meal prep tasks like chopping veggies or washing herbs with no pressure to eat them.
Keep in mind that involving the entire family may not be realistic because most parents need to “divide and conquer” household tasks to get tasks done, Largeman-Roth says, but if you include the most finicky in the family, it may help move the needle and increase your array of family-friendly dinner ideas.
“By allowing them to have some stake in the game you are allowing them to have a voice and often that helps them feel more invested and more likely to try new foods,” Ligos says.
Introduce New Foods Gradually
Ligos acknowledges that it can be frustrating when you make food and your kid refuses it time and time again. Take heart and stick with it, she recommends: “It can take 20 or more exposures for a kid to accept a new food. By continuing to offer it without pressure to eat it, you are giving your child ample opportunity to listen to their body and explore the food,” Ligos says.
Sometimes picky eaters have to look at foods, smell them, and see other folks enjoy them before they dip their toe in, Largeman-Roth adds. Her youngest child, for instance, finally asked for Brussels sprouts one day “after I had offered them to her what felt like a million times. Exposure counts whether it’s on their plate or just on the table.”
One helpful trick is to think of pairing one new food with one of their current “safe” foods. Ligos also likes to assemble a "communal" plate filled with fresh fruits and vegetables or other “challenging” foods, then places this in the middle of the table so all can take some if they want. (“Often, when our oldest sees the rest of us reach for some, he will do the same,” Ligos says.)
Talk it Out
A little conversation and preparation can go a long way, according to Largeman-Roth. Rather than bringing special dishes to a friend or relative’s house for dinner, “tell your child in advance (this is important–especially for young kids) that you’re going to someone’s home and that you’re excited to try what they’re cooking,” Largeman-Roth says. Some subtle positive peer pressure—created by witnessing the others around the table savoring a wide variety of items—can’t hurt, either. “You definitely don’t want to force your child to eat or even try anything, but encourage them to be open-minded about new foods, too.”
One year, the Largeman-Roth family was hosted by a family with Filipino roots on Thanksgiving. “Of course my kids didn’t eat everything that was served, but they did a great job trying new things and my son still talks about that very special holiday meal,” she reminisces.
Speaking of open communication, if other family members have a tendency to ask, “is that all you’re going to eat?” or “are you eating all that?” gently ask them—out of the earshot of the picky eater—to steer clear of consumption-related comments. “These types of comments can be very damaging,” Largeman-Roth says.
Don’t Force Them to Eat
Forcing kids to eat, take a bite, or finish their plate especially when they show or vocalize that they don't want to is a common mistake, Ligos tells us.
“I frequently hear of parents trying to enforce a ‘no thank you’ bite. While this sounds like a good idea in theory, in actuality, you are still forcing your child to do something they may not want to. When we force kids to eat, we are asking them to go against their intuition,” Ligos says.
Excessive nudging to eat a certain amount, get seconds, clean their plates, or avoid a favorite food (such as chicken nuggets or grilled cheese) can also stress kids out, turn them off from food and even potentially lead to disordered eating, Largeman-Roth says.
If you allow kids to eat without force, especially babies, you will see how truly intuitive they are. Instead of pushing a picky eater to do something they might not want to do, continue to offer the food and try to make it fun with no pressure to try it.
Skip the Sneaking
In an attempt to master cooking for picky eaters, some home cooks try to sneak ingredients into recipes like pasta sauce (puréed carrots and red or orange bell peppers), smoothies (frozen cauliflower), or muffin batter (shredded zucchini). This scheme may backfire, though.
“I am not a fan of sneaking,” Largeman-Roth says. “I think it’s much more important to help picky eaters learn about broccoli or carrots and all the amazing things they can do for your body instead of trying to hide them in a sauce or casserole. Yes, there may be a short-term payoff, but eventually kids get smart about this stuff and may feel duped by parents who use these sneaky approaches to nutrition.”
Ligos echoes that sentiment, but approves of adding bonus nutrition boosters if everyone consuming it knows that the food is in there and it helps them eat a more diverse diet. Transparency builds trust.
“In our family, I write a menu each week and we tell our kids what's for dinner each day so that they know what to expect,” Ligos says.
Set a Low-Stress Tone at Meals
Cooking for picky eaters—and sharing a table with them—can be taxing if you let it. But a few simple pro tips can help foster supportive, relaxing vibes.
Parents should pick the what and when, and kids should be allowed to pick how much and if they eat it. Aim to keep mealtimes as consistent as possible, offer options for all to choose from, encourage each diner to eat until they’re comfortably full, and don’t present dessert as a bargaining chip to coax kids into eating broccoli, Largeman-Roth says. Consider serving a small dessert with dinner at a regular cadence; “that way you’re sending the message that all foods can fit and you’re not ‘elevating’ sweets,” she adds.
Lead by Example
Put the phones and screens away, sit down around the table, and “talk about the food in a neutral manner while conversing with your kids,” Ligos proposes. “The focus should be on the communal experience not forcing the kids to take a bite. And remember if you're not eating it why should they?”
Sitting down and eating as a family might sound like a tiny (and dated) tradition, but “this is huge. I know that's not always possible but when we can, we should so we can be an example for our kids,” Ligos tells us. “If you don't have a good relationship with food and if you don't sit down and eat with them, it's not reasonable to expect them to have a good relationship with food or eat diverse foods.”
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask For Help
If a kid is incredibly picky or their choosiness persists for a very long time, “there may be a reason for that,” Ligos says. If you notice that they might be having sensory processing issues, they have limited tongue mobility, or chewing issues, they may need extra support from a dietitian, dentist, speech language pathologist, and/or an occupational therapist. Contact your child’s primary care doctor to ask if they recommend a specialist, and if so, ask for a referral.
Sample 1-Day Picky Eater Meal Plan
Each family and every finicky eater is different, so it’s challenging to offer a universal picky eater meal plan. The dietitian-approved example below is a terrific jumping-off point, though, since it includes a mix of familiar, fun, and semi-adventurous foods—with the option to build your own plate or bowl.
Breakfast: Buttermilk pancakes served with optional toppings of fresh berries, pure maple syrup, chopped walnuts, and whipped cream
Snack: Apple slices, fresh blueberries, and baby carrots with a side of nut butter for dipping
Lunch: Pasta station with cooked noodles, mini turkey or beef meatballs, marinara sauce, pesto sauce, steamed broccoli florets, and grated Parmesan cheeses
Snack: Sliced cucumbers, peppers, and pretzels with hummus
Dinner: Easy sheet pan soy-miso chicken thighs with broccoli, sweet potatoes and sesame dressing as optional sides
Simplify Mealtime with Blue Apron
Family-friendly dinner ideas do exist, even when cooking for picky eaters. That being said, investing time and TLC into encouraging picky eaters to think outside the mac and cheese box will benefit their long-term health, their social connections, and the overall vibe at mealtimes.
Repeated exposure might be necessary to inspire picky eaters to expand their horizons. Try to stay patient and not push; they will likely come around over time and if they witness you and others modeling a balanced lifestyle.
By including the choosy eater in the meal and snack decision-making or prep process, allowing all to construct-their-own plate, and creating open lines of communication about meals and snacks, you’ll be well on your way to easing a picky eater into more free food territory.
On the days you’re feeling uninspired or could use a hand with dinner prep, outsource to Blue Apron so you can be present at the table (rather than fretting over shopping and chopping every last ingredient). Parents of picky eaters verify that meals like 15-Min Bang Bang Chicken with Pre-Cooked Rice, Poblano Pepper & Peanuts (with the peppers on the side, if needed), 30-minute Cheesy Pork Chorizo Enchiladas, , and Salmon & Sushi Rice Bowls are crowd-pleasers.